The Release of Guitar Hero..highlignt of my life!

I have just been informed that TOmorrow is the release of Guitar Hero World Tour Edition and not Monday. That just totally messes up all plans of trying to sleep in with a 5 yr old's feet in your face on a Sunday morning. I guess (according to the 13 yr old) Toys R Us opens at 9am which means I have to show up at 8am to get the damn game. It's kind of embarassing don't you think? A grown woman crawls out of bed to pay $200 for a video game...I guess the embarrassing thing is that I am actually EXCITED! Yes, my life has resorted to this humiliation and I am even posting it for the entire world to see.

Last night I was supposed to have a girls night with a friend until she decided to dump me for the kids...yes, I was invited to attend the opening night of High School Musical 3 instead. Thank you friend, for the rememberance of High School and what a great time that was for me. Later in the evening my BFF and I relived the memories from our High School years and talked about the break-ups of 1990 & 1991 respectively. Unfortunately, the guys didn't look anything like Troy Bolton and I was absolutely nothing like Gabriella. I was more like the chubby cheerleader that no one wanted to date! (laugh..this is supposed to be funny!) So my review of HSM3 was a total flop. The reviews outside the theater from girls 3-13 was "OMG! I thought they were going to break up! Great movie!" To all those Mom's out there who have kids who don't like HSM3, consider yourself L-U-C-K-Y! Yes, Disney took my $ for the tickets and said "SEE YA!"

Today is good, the first round of sleepovers is leaving and C is coming home soon from his. J is requesting a sleepover and I have called the Mom (wink..wink.) but there has been no return phone call. Why is it that she wants to play with all the girls on the weekend, at the last minute, that I have no idea who the parent's are? I'm so sure, like I am supposed to call up and request their kid- who has no idea who I am and probably doesn't even really know J- to sleep at our house and expecet them to say YES! I really hope J's kids do this to her some day...better yet, I hope she has triplettes that do that to her at the same time! That'll teach her

Reading the 6th book for my class (btw..what kind of idiot decides to go back to college at age 35?) and I feel like a kid again, frustrated with the prof for not understanding what it's like to be a student. Truly, who in their right mind makes people read 11 books in 16 weeks? Expansion of the mind is painful my friends, very painful.

Only Up From Here...

And here we go....up like a balloon...isn't that what it's supposed to feel like when you are coming up from the dark deep depths of you know where? Or maye the struggle to move up is a long journey. I've decided that it's the latter, because I know that moving forward from the unmentionable yesterday is going to be a bit of the struggle kind. No big deal, we can deal with it and hey- it could be worse, right? Right?

So, today's not such a bad gig...H stayed home from school while I plotted and schemed to outsmart the big 3 to get out the door before the bus came. This was with protest I can assure you. C was having a breakdown of hormonal proportions I believe, and J was in her usual demon "I refuse to get out of bed" mood. M was not feeling well- but isn't that typical of a teenager? I have to smirk and chuckle to myself with their problems that seem so enormous, and think they are really trivial in the grand scheme of things. Hey- I was just excited to spend time with my peeps this afternoon while we agonized over the wording we should use to write grants. I had to laugh a few times to myself while I thought of my analogy about the IEP using words like we were on Jeopardy! All in all, not such a bad day. I am just hoping H's return of the explosive #2 doesn't return...that would constitute a BAD day!

Ok...I'm over it, moving forward. What should I tackle today?! Suggestions?!

Random thoughts and feelings of an IEP

As I sat in the parking lot waiting until closer to 8am, I looked at the school and wondered what they had in store for me today. I didn't want to go in too early and seem eager so I sat in the car and listened to H as he sat in the back seat asking me random questions and quoting from his movies. In the world of Autism, they call it scripting and these days it is never ending. The preschool teacher informed me yesterday he knows the entire Pledge of Allegiance. I wondered what kind of Pledge of Allegiance the educators were taking inside as they prepared for my IEP. Do you think they take a pledge? I bet it is a pledge to stick together through thick and thin and do what’s in the best interest of the child- sometimes, and the best intrest of their budget and staffing- always. I wondered if they would put me on the defense today by coming to the meeting tired, whispering to eachother, plotting against me. I also wondered if there would be any amusing debates among them as to which word would accurately, or appropriately describe a goal- just like you would buy a category in Jeopardy. Annoying at best.

During the IEP, I felt like an outsider in a place where I didn’t belong. The principal said few words to me because I was threatening her staffing and budget once again. Who knew asking for an Individualized Educaton Plan for my son would be so difficult. I was only asking for H to receive instruction from a certified teacher, not an aide from the lunchroom. This is the way I see it, but they of course had another spin on it. The teacher gave it a good fight and I was impressed but in the end they won their debate, only to leave me feeling helpless once again. Will my son ever be able to achieve the way his peers are able to? How much will this end up costing me in the end? Where will I find a tutor and how much should I pay her? Plan #2 in action before I can even leave the building, my head is spinning and my face is burning with defeat and anger.

In the car, H is still spewing his random thoughts and questions. He requests Burger King and I agree- even though I know his Dad would have a heart attack that I am feeding him BK and a coke Icee for breakfast. I am too tired to even complain and too stressed out over doing what is best for his education to worry about his diet right now. We head to BK and promptly order food for him and a Diet Coke for me, not healthy but the only source of comfort and treat I can riffle up for myself right now. I call N to discuss the details of the war that just went down in the school. She is my sounding board, listening ear and sometimes I can’t believe she doesn’t get sick of me complaining. She answers and we discuss the communist regime, AKA School District. We go over the same conversation as we do every day and during the conversation I am left to wonder if this conversation will forever continue and never end? Is the work we try to do in vain? Sometimes it is defeating to me when I can’t even get my own son’s IEP to go in my favor, how can I help make a change for other kids? Why is it that I even care? Maybe it is the controling, freaky side of me that just wants everyone to get along and mostly see things my way. My favorite saying is "If everyone would just do as I say, the world would be a better place." Well now, over the years, I have matured and realized this is simply not the case. I am not perfect and I digress. I just want a little simple, just a little control, just a little comfort. Don't we all deserve at least that?