Questioning the Sanity of Christmas

The sanity of the Christmas season is completely insane! Who ever heard of taking kids out of school for 2 entire weeks during the snowiest part of the year, loading them up with sugar, the promise of a fat round man who brings presents, too many gifts and to boot....A tree in my front room!!!! Where is the spirit of the season people?? The spirit? Jesus birth, our Savior, you know, all that stuff? Aren't we supposed to be preparing our hearts to accept our Savior? Being a Christian, that is what the Christmas season is about but furthermore, what about other holidays like Hannukah that are also celebrated during this time? I am sure we are all in agreement. Our society has created one of greed, we are all guilty of it. I for one, am ashamed to say that my kids have more things than I am proud to admit. Toys, video games, tv's, electronic toys to the tune of feeding a small country...not proud. I can tell you I have run myself raggid once again this season. I have done considerably less than previous years but it has been with personal sacrafice. Not sending out Christmas cards was difficult but reasonable. I always enjoyed trying to get just the right card, the challenge of making sure I had the right addresses and updating the list every year, plus taking just the right picture! Let's face it, stamps are expensive and so are pictures and cards. Something had to give I guess- but! If you look at it, I probably should have given the joy of my Christmas card and less under the tree because at least I would have spread joy to the most amount of people instead of more for my family. We have plenty here, just plenty. I am thankful my family is healthy and we are not (so far as of this moment) facing the challenges that so many families in our country are facing. We are safe and warm in our cozy home, even if the insanity is more than I can handle! Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday's to Everyone! Resolutions a plenty over here...there's always next year right!

Rockin' In The Free WoRLD!!!!!!!

Are we? Will we be rockin' in the free world with a new Prez, or will it be doom and gloom? I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready for a change. I guess I will take this opportunity to spew my political commentary...(hehehe..) disclaimer: this is only my opinion and thought, not meant to offend....If you feel the elephant in the room...please feel free to leave quietly..no one will tell!

We all know the subjects between friends that shouldn't be discussed at length, are politics and religion. The problem is, that if you disagree it is kind of like being dumped for the first time...that awkward silence that permeates the air, only to be followed by the sting of rejection. That's kind of how I feel about it, I guess I know who I can talk politics with- those who share my views- and those I can't- those who are appalled by my views.

The election is a political game that I still don't fully understand. Why was Michigan pretty much excluded from the primaries? Why do the parties pretty much choose the candidates? Being the Mom of a special needs child I found it offensive when the Rep party decided to choose Sarah Palin as the VP candidate. I think people just took it for granted that I would vote for McCain because of this. WHY? Why would I vote for someone just because their VP has a special needs child? What has she done for the special needs community thus far? What will she continue to do? In the beginning, I was on McCain's side...(Yes, hard to believe) I liked his grandfatherly, Republican qualities. I liked the fact he is a war vet and knows what it's like to serve his country, I like the fact that he is divorced and cheated on his wife- it gave him a human touch, I also liked the fact that he wasn't afraid to reach across party lines to make votes that sometimes made him unpopular... I liked McCain! Hence- the word liked! However, I do not like his party's antics of choosing a woman to sway the vote away from Hilary Clinton. Did they just assume that we would vote for McCain because he chose a woman VP...not to mention, she has a special needs child?! OMG! If this is what is running the Republican campaign then forget it friends! Why would I vote for someone who either makes stupid choices for running mates, or lets his political party make choices for him?

Barrack Obama is young, educated, has led a very real life. He wants change in healthcare (which I support) he also plans to help the economy first thing! He has a young family and knows what it is like to be a parent in today's day and age. He is from inner-city Chicago and knows what it's like to struggle. He wasn't born to privilege and such. He is a good, honest man who wants what is best for his country- hands down. Maybe Obama is pro-choice- so what? If I was letting such an issue be the driving force behind how I voted then I would be a fool. At this time in life, I think we need someone who is going to bring about a change, and other issues like feeding my children come first. Today, I don't have time to sit around and worry about the social issues that affect the people in my country- I don't think Ed McMahon will be showing up at my door anytime soon with a hefty check- so I am led down this path. Some may call me a DEMON-crat, that is ok. I am actually getting used to it and will wear it with pride today!

The Fun is Over

Halloweener is over...a fun night had by all but I couldn't help wonder if we are truly in a recession? (DUH?) Not that I am complaining, God knows my hind end could use less treats- but the trick or treating candy was sparse this year. After we got home and drooled over the candy, I realized we didn't really make out like bandits this year. I was quickly informed by a very informed staunch Obama supporter- "We are in a recession you know?!" Man! I didn't think the candy would experience the trickle down effect so quickly! So- I say to the dentist, sorry for you buddy, you're hit too!

Sorry to disappoint, no new intelligent or witty posts this week, just the usual life stuff. H had the best time trick or treating for the first time in 5 years, we actually did the entire neighborhood! He didn't try to go into anyone's house and check out their things. He didn't cry or wander off from the crowd...life is good! Other than biting the principal this week...he did alrighty!

The Release of Guitar Hero..highlignt of my life!

I have just been informed that TOmorrow is the release of Guitar Hero World Tour Edition and not Monday. That just totally messes up all plans of trying to sleep in with a 5 yr old's feet in your face on a Sunday morning. I guess (according to the 13 yr old) Toys R Us opens at 9am which means I have to show up at 8am to get the damn game. It's kind of embarassing don't you think? A grown woman crawls out of bed to pay $200 for a video game...I guess the embarrassing thing is that I am actually EXCITED! Yes, my life has resorted to this humiliation and I am even posting it for the entire world to see.

Last night I was supposed to have a girls night with a friend until she decided to dump me for the kids...yes, I was invited to attend the opening night of High School Musical 3 instead. Thank you friend, for the rememberance of High School and what a great time that was for me. Later in the evening my BFF and I relived the memories from our High School years and talked about the break-ups of 1990 & 1991 respectively. Unfortunately, the guys didn't look anything like Troy Bolton and I was absolutely nothing like Gabriella. I was more like the chubby cheerleader that no one wanted to date! (laugh..this is supposed to be funny!) So my review of HSM3 was a total flop. The reviews outside the theater from girls 3-13 was "OMG! I thought they were going to break up! Great movie!" To all those Mom's out there who have kids who don't like HSM3, consider yourself L-U-C-K-Y! Yes, Disney took my $ for the tickets and said "SEE YA!"

Today is good, the first round of sleepovers is leaving and C is coming home soon from his. J is requesting a sleepover and I have called the Mom (wink..wink.) but there has been no return phone call. Why is it that she wants to play with all the girls on the weekend, at the last minute, that I have no idea who the parent's are? I'm so sure, like I am supposed to call up and request their kid- who has no idea who I am and probably doesn't even really know J- to sleep at our house and expecet them to say YES! I really hope J's kids do this to her some day...better yet, I hope she has triplettes that do that to her at the same time! That'll teach her

Reading the 6th book for my class (btw..what kind of idiot decides to go back to college at age 35?) and I feel like a kid again, frustrated with the prof for not understanding what it's like to be a student. Truly, who in their right mind makes people read 11 books in 16 weeks? Expansion of the mind is painful my friends, very painful.

Only Up From Here...

And here we go....up like a balloon...isn't that what it's supposed to feel like when you are coming up from the dark deep depths of you know where? Or maye the struggle to move up is a long journey. I've decided that it's the latter, because I know that moving forward from the unmentionable yesterday is going to be a bit of the struggle kind. No big deal, we can deal with it and hey- it could be worse, right? Right?

So, today's not such a bad gig...H stayed home from school while I plotted and schemed to outsmart the big 3 to get out the door before the bus came. This was with protest I can assure you. C was having a breakdown of hormonal proportions I believe, and J was in her usual demon "I refuse to get out of bed" mood. M was not feeling well- but isn't that typical of a teenager? I have to smirk and chuckle to myself with their problems that seem so enormous, and think they are really trivial in the grand scheme of things. Hey- I was just excited to spend time with my peeps this afternoon while we agonized over the wording we should use to write grants. I had to laugh a few times to myself while I thought of my analogy about the IEP using words like we were on Jeopardy! All in all, not such a bad day. I am just hoping H's return of the explosive #2 doesn't return...that would constitute a BAD day!

Ok...I'm over it, moving forward. What should I tackle today?! Suggestions?!

Random thoughts and feelings of an IEP

As I sat in the parking lot waiting until closer to 8am, I looked at the school and wondered what they had in store for me today. I didn't want to go in too early and seem eager so I sat in the car and listened to H as he sat in the back seat asking me random questions and quoting from his movies. In the world of Autism, they call it scripting and these days it is never ending. The preschool teacher informed me yesterday he knows the entire Pledge of Allegiance. I wondered what kind of Pledge of Allegiance the educators were taking inside as they prepared for my IEP. Do you think they take a pledge? I bet it is a pledge to stick together through thick and thin and do what’s in the best interest of the child- sometimes, and the best intrest of their budget and staffing- always. I wondered if they would put me on the defense today by coming to the meeting tired, whispering to eachother, plotting against me. I also wondered if there would be any amusing debates among them as to which word would accurately, or appropriately describe a goal- just like you would buy a category in Jeopardy. Annoying at best.

During the IEP, I felt like an outsider in a place where I didn’t belong. The principal said few words to me because I was threatening her staffing and budget once again. Who knew asking for an Individualized Educaton Plan for my son would be so difficult. I was only asking for H to receive instruction from a certified teacher, not an aide from the lunchroom. This is the way I see it, but they of course had another spin on it. The teacher gave it a good fight and I was impressed but in the end they won their debate, only to leave me feeling helpless once again. Will my son ever be able to achieve the way his peers are able to? How much will this end up costing me in the end? Where will I find a tutor and how much should I pay her? Plan #2 in action before I can even leave the building, my head is spinning and my face is burning with defeat and anger.

In the car, H is still spewing his random thoughts and questions. He requests Burger King and I agree- even though I know his Dad would have a heart attack that I am feeding him BK and a coke Icee for breakfast. I am too tired to even complain and too stressed out over doing what is best for his education to worry about his diet right now. We head to BK and promptly order food for him and a Diet Coke for me, not healthy but the only source of comfort and treat I can riffle up for myself right now. I call N to discuss the details of the war that just went down in the school. She is my sounding board, listening ear and sometimes I can’t believe she doesn’t get sick of me complaining. She answers and we discuss the communist regime, AKA School District. We go over the same conversation as we do every day and during the conversation I am left to wonder if this conversation will forever continue and never end? Is the work we try to do in vain? Sometimes it is defeating to me when I can’t even get my own son’s IEP to go in my favor, how can I help make a change for other kids? Why is it that I even care? Maybe it is the controling, freaky side of me that just wants everyone to get along and mostly see things my way. My favorite saying is "If everyone would just do as I say, the world would be a better place." Well now, over the years, I have matured and realized this is simply not the case. I am not perfect and I digress. I just want a little simple, just a little control, just a little comfort. Don't we all deserve at least that?