The World According to Marlowe- The Joys of Family, Autism & Special Education

Cutting SSI is NOT the answer dummy!

2011-08-18T16:32:00.000-07:00

I guess this belongs on my blog but I just wanted to vent to my FB peeps...........

After reading this article on NPR( npr.org)I am absolutely furious and appalled at the stupidity of the people we have elected to make decisions on behalf of our nation. I'm not sure if I have adopted a different set of morals than most politicians, or if maybe I am just a freakin' genius and have the ability to see that people who are vulnerable in our society NEED TO BE PROTECTED. The needs of people with developmental disabilities are REAL and can not simply be ignored.

The real issue in this article is pretty obvious. We haven't been providing adequate and appropriate care (use of best practice, not stone age medicine and mentality) for people with developmental disabilities. Our government has bowed down to big insurance companies and let them discriminate against people with developmental disabilities and mental illness for so long, that we have forced providers out of business. You can't run a business if insurers deny your claims and patients aren't able to private pay. When insurers use discriminatory practices, they create a LACK of providers. (try finding a good pediatric physical therapist for your kid who broke his leg if insurers don't provide coverage for kids with disabilities...they can't stay in business waiting around for your kid with a broken leg!)

Today, the use of best practice and appropriate care for people with developmental disabilities is only available to those who can afford it (or are willing to bankrupt themselves). Who is this helping? Do tax payers get a break on taxes when the use of appropriate care and best practice helps an individual with DD or mental illness? Yes. Do insurers get a break when they provide coverage for best practice for people with DD and mental illness? Yes.

The answers are pretty simple and according to 99% (the other 1% being insurance providers and politicians) of the people I have ever talked to, my theory is not the theorm of a genius. It's pretty simple actually. (Trust me-I totally cheated in Math and am not trusted with the check book)

When you treat people with developmental disabilities and mental illness with the appropriate care and best practice, you SAVE MONEY! This happens by helping people achieve their best quality of life! I can assure you (I refuse to cite sources here...college trauma) that the majority of people with developmental disabilities and mental illness would not HAVE to rely heavily on public support such as SSI, Medicaid, etc. if they received the treatment THEY DESERVE.

I mean, c'mon, why NOT improve someone's quality of life? Why not help ease the burden of families with special needs children? Why not?? Why not?? Why not??

We're greedy that's why. We are so selfish that we have allowed insurance companies to DISCRIMINATE against people with disabilities and mental illness. We have purposely turned a blind eye because we are only worried about ourselves. We think "It can never happen to me".... Well, if it happened to me, it can happen to YOU too.

Jesus is sad. We have all allowed this.

Speak up, we all have a voice.

We were robbed....

2011-01-09T17:31:00.000-08:00

We were robbed and I'm a little bitter....

I'm sure you can figure out this post has something to do with the 'A' word- Autism. Over the holidays my cousin and her little boy (age 3) came to visit us. The Captain and I were thrilled to have company, especially since this little guy is the next cousin in line to our 4 kids. (I'm the oldest and my family is FINALLY beginning to produce offspring...go figure.) So for 3 days we listened and watched this little cutie do all kinds of Normie 3 year old things like:

Yell "POOP!" randomly to get attention
Call his Mom "POOP!" when he wanted her attention
Call anyone around him "POOP! FART! STINKY" when he wanted their attention
Play with TOYS! (yes, this was totally random...we're not used to that here)
He even asked me for lunch and we sat down together and ate
We even played a GAME
He told me things...things he imagined, things he wanted to do, all about his dog....

So yea, Normie things... totally no fair. The thing is, I saw how happy and excited the Captain was with the Normie kid. Not that he doesn't just love H to pieces and get excited about his stuff- but it was kinda sweet to see him going gaga over this little cutie too. He is truly a wonderful father. His patience with the Normie 3 yr old cutie was golden- he loved him up, played with him and even gave him time-outs! I loved it!

At first I was unsure what this was all about, me and the Captain going gaga over a 3 yr old Normie kid. I thought it was because he is related, but today I realized when talking to my Auti-peep it was a lot more than this.

You see, I think we were robbed.

We never got to have this kind of fun with H when he was 3. By the time he was 3, he was immersed in therapy and we were immersed in all kinds of fun things like grief, financial hell, dispair, humility and the 90000 other emotions that go along with having a special needs child. Needless to say H was also not interested, nor EVER interested in being typical. His childhood has been one that he has probably found joyful, while we sat around and tried to figure out how to accpet the fact that we had no idea what exactly it is he found joyful. Does that make sense?

I believe nature takes a course of developmental progression with kids. As parents, we naturally follow along instinctively. Just like they develop to the next level, we naturally anticipate the next step with them. With H, we would anticipate but it never came. Like I told my Auti-peep today, I'm still waiting on those steps. Will they ever come? If they do or have come, I probably wouldn't recognize it if it slapped me in the face because it isn't what nature typically predicts.

So yes, I know some will read this and think I have issues not accepting my child's special needs...shame on me for wishing he was a Normie- but I can tell you I love that little bugger who has turned our lives upside down and inside out.

I love the boy, but today I hate the A. We were robbed. No fair.

I'm pretty sure my Autistic son is normal- Joke's on them!

2010-11-20T06:33:00.000-08:00

After reading this ridiculous letter the Michigan Chamber of Commerce sent to its members, I came to the conclusion that I'm pretty sure my Autistic son is completely normal and these goons are the ones who need therapy!! Seriously? Who wrote this anyway? If you'd like to get a good laugh or even cry about the stupidity of the lobbyists running our state government- give this a look Michigan Chamber opposes Autism treatment

I won't bore you or go into why this legislation is more than just right- it's ethical. I'm not sure how someone can go home from their well-paying job, in their nice car, to their big house, and greet their normie kids at the door- all while knowing they just did a hard days work off the backs of small business owners who have had to work their asses off to pay for their kids Autism. Does that sound 'NORMAL' to you? Sounds to me like they might need some social skills therapy. Hope their health insurance covers it!

How did I get so grumpy? oh yea- I went to bed at 1am to be awoke by the extreme loose bowles of a little boy with Autism. No doctors here in our area can help, it must have been the gluten free fries from Culvers. Sue me but I'm not up for the 4 hour drive to Detroit because I have priorities ya know? Christmas is coming and thanks to the bankrupting costs to cover H's therapy, he knows enough to realize he hates the doctor, and loves toys (ok-maybe he likes 'things')! Sad isn't it?

The Injustice of it all....

2010-11-19T19:12:00.000-08:00

I know I may be just blabbing on and on, by the response I've had on FB to my last few posts I am led to assume everyone I know (including myself) has grown weary about the chance for Autism insurance reform in Michigan. Howeva! After dropping the precious angels off at school this morning and enjoying my daily dose of adderall and coffee (teehee!) I was pleasently surprised when I opened up the trusty MacBook to find THIS!....

Lt. Gov elect- Brian Calley Speaking about Autism!

After the past 3 years of sleepless nights agonizing over the injustice of insurance companies and their discriminatory refusal to cover treatment for Autism, I am somewhat hopeful we may have a chance for reform in Michigan. In this interview, I think I am the voice inside Brian Calley's head that is prompting him to speak. I'm not sure I have these powers all the time- it might be a fluke entirely- but it's the truth. Ok- the truth is I don't have powers of any kind except the power of advocacy and passion. Brian Calley was speaking my language because he is one of us 'normies' that has a kid with the A word. He realizes that being from a small town resources are non-existant, he also realizes the insurers discriminatory practices have created a lack of service providers throughout the state of Michigan. This has also had devastating consequences in rural areas for people with Autism. If insurers don't cover treatment for Autism, then who can afford to provide the treatment. Do people think therapists work for free?? Pretty much parents are working to cover autism treatment and that is why I can't sleep at night.

The reasons I can't sleep are many- one of which is because H has the A! Did you know kids with Autism can often times suffer from insomnia and faulty melatonin production?

When H was 2 I had a worse time sleeping because of the worry associated with fear and anxiety of WHO was going to help us. WHO was going to provide speech therapy, OT, ABA, educational support, behavior support? Ummm..the answer was pretty much- nobody! True story- We only had 1 qualified SLP in the region, 1 qualified OT, no ABA consultants to speak of, behavior support? What's that? Nope, nada, nothin'. This was all because of insurance......I had a talk with the BCBS guy once, he told me it would be too expensive if they covered therapy...FOR KIDS!

I also have a hard time sleeping because I see all the families affected by Autism in the northwest michigan region- to date we have approximately 310 familes...that's a lot of people affected! Autism not only affects 1 person- it affects FAMILIES! Being the Presidante of Autism Resource Network I have phone calls every week from scared parents who want to know where to go for help. I got nada...nothin, nope, nada.... I have to tell them "sorry, I don't have any referrals but if you come to our parent meetings every month at least we can support eachother"

Most disturbing- working at my job doing home visits for little ones, having a Mom cry to you because her little boy isn't talking and exhibiting signs of Autism. What do you tell her? Where does she go? What do our local pediatricians tell their patients? They got nothin'....no ideas...they hold off on a diagnosis or guess because they are just as stuck as everyone else...

GRRRR....more reasons! Our schools are completely unable or qualified to do medical therapies and parents believe they ARE!! Completely untrue! So many parents are fighting, battling, angry, MAD AS HELL, because their kids aren't getting better because many people in 'da bidness' down in you know where (if you live in Michigan- you know where I'm talkin' about) think Autism is an 'educational problem' and should be addressed in the schools. True story! In my world we call this 'Old School Special Ed" meaning this is the belief before empirical peer reviewed studies showed the progress of people with Autism through therapies like Speech, ABA, OT behavioral and other therapies. Yes...medicine has advanced and now it's time to adopt a new way of looking at people with Autism.

Last but not least....I know this might be a shocker to most, especially my doubter brother who laughed when I last called myself "a person of faith"...hahaha... On the moral issue of abortion- (dum..dum..dummmmm) Disclaimer (I am probably ruining any chance of running for office now...damn!) I don't admit or adopt a political party affiliation because I don't believe it's anyone's business.. Yes, I am proud to be Catholic and the best part is I am a human being who believes it is our moral obligation to take care of our most vulnerable citizens- children! If people use politics to lobby for Pro-Life efforts then how can they deny people with disabilities the medically necessary treatments they need to live a productive and happy life? Yep, I said it...the Priest endorsed it- he agreed it was all about greed and I agree.

So...you probably won't read this lengthy, wordy, crazy post to the end...but if you do and you live in Michigan, call your Senator and tell him "Marlowe is getting tired of chasing you around the state complaining about Autism!" (I am kidding- but you could say that if you want) Tell him he has nothing to loose because supporting kids is a win-win situation and it's really the right thing to do. I'm not sure Northern Michigan Senators support our legislation- I've never really gotten a clear answer but it would sure be nice to know wouldn't it?

Never in my life have I ever had to put my family, reputation, or integrity on the line but I don't care anymore- what have I got to loose? Money? Got none- paid for therapy and my grandchildren's grandchildren will continue to pay......and the A word marches on....

Really honestly truly

2010-11-13T21:07:00.000-08:00

I think. I am. becoming....a ....social meadia junkie! Totally got the bug these days thanks to my pals Kellie and Jill (strong whistles and accolades). Yesterday I even added friends to twitter ;-) Yes- I feel like I just came out.

Most of the time I blog and write of facebook about things like Autism. Obviously a cause dear to my heart since my little guy keeps our lives interesting. In our lives with the little guy, we have been known to throw the 'A' word around in comparison to his strange behaviors now and then. I mostly associate his odd behaviors to his inheritance of his father's genetics, but some crazy doctor told me it was Autism. Go figure.

Tonight I happened across a blog by autismarmymom where she mentioned the subject of parents not sharing with others about their kids Autism and it got me thinking.... I feel empathy...not sympathy, not sorry...but empathy for parents who feel they might be criticized or judged because of their child's diagnosis of Autism. Heck...the first time I said the A word at a family event I thought my grandma was going to need the heimlich after she choked on her cake! (true story!) I see this a lot with the families I work with at our nonprofit. From a therapist's point of view, the grieving process about their child's diagnosis is still fresh. Now, I'm not criticizing anyone or saying any person is wrong or otherwise if they don't wish to share, but for me and my family, it has been a liberating experience because it has offered an opportunity for our community to have acceptance and become aware of Autism.

Nowwww.....I see that the older the boy gets, the harder it is to share his diagnosis with those who don't know. When he was 3 years old he was a cute little blondie with a big smile and everyone would comment "you would never know! Look how cute he is!" I can assure you that as a 7 year old- having a massive tantrum isn't cute anymore. Parents at school have ridiculed him and me, because of his behavior and maybe it's time I started shouting from the rooftops again "Hellooooooo.......the boy has Autism!"

Autism is what it is....it's not an excuse persay, it is my responsibility as a parent to continue to teach him socially responsible behaviors appropriate to his disability. Maybe it's difficult to shout the A word about your kid because you think others may think you are making an excuse? Yea...maybe a little, but when you speak the A word to others- I believe you are spreading awareness and understanding among others.

People are afraid of people with disabilities ...it's a fact. I used to be. I admit that people in wheelchairs or disabilities I'm not familiar with, kinda make me uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable because I'm afraid of them, but because I don't want to offend them with my ignorance. As a member of the state's disability council I have had the opportunity to hang out with some pretty cool people with developmental disabilities. They have brought me into their world and helped me to understand what it's like to be them. They have advocated for themselves by educating and accepting my ignorant ass and in return I have become more understanding...voila!

How do you help cure ignorance? Educate them...bring awareness...help others to understand your struggle. That's how things get done.

Just my 2 cents...only two, because right now I'm broke.

Who is this kid anyway?

2010-09-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

My question is, where do we come up with our vision of the future and what teaches us about social change? What is the antagonist behind our young people that teaches them about the world. Is it interest? Upbringing? Is this something that is taught to our kids through our own curiosity as adults and they learn? Interesting to me.

My daughter just loves concerts. As a kid I only went to 1 concert and it was loud, rowdy and drug filled. I guess it was Def Leppard (is that how you spell it?) but I couldn't tell you anything about them because they were as big as a penny, and we were in the nosebleed seats. I spent my $20 and came home with a t-shirt. I didn't care. Long haired rock stars wern't sexy to me, they were scary!

Last summer we went to a concert together. It was completely out of my comfort zone- I mean REALLY. It was a band called Boys Like Girls. I used to make fun of their name. I stood in the crowd horrified as the lead singer was horn doggin' the young girls. He made sure to take the opportunity to yell 'FUCK' as often as he could (shame on you Martin Johnson, although today I think he's tried to clean it up a bit).

There were about 4 bands that night- some good, some were ok. Some talented kids- just trying to have a good time in a sea of screaming teenage girls. Why not I guess?

I think it was almost the last act and a band called Never Shout Never played. This kid was amazing- he had a harmonica, mandolin, guitar, tambourine- the whole sha-bang. He is a one man band- he is Never Shout Never. Totally cool! Adorable little guy they call Christofer Drew. No shoes, skinny jeans with holes in the knees, too many tattoos, those awful ear-plug things...punk rock hair but nonetheless- he was adorable.

Adorable because of his musical talent and the music he sang was pretty cool. His inspirational music stories about social change are something that should be written by someone my age! (not completely old, just moderately old- aged like fine wine- with experience)

Where does this kid come from and do his parents realize what a brilliant mind he has?
The kids tell me he was a tennis prodigy at one time. The teenager really wants to get him on the court and see if the rumors are true. He has an amazing ability to inspire people through his music because Christofer's music is all about change- the words he sings are the things I think about every day as I sit in my classes and go to work.

Where does this come from? As a therapist and Mom, I'm dying to know! His story is interesting to me, his music is personal and motivating.

The kids love this kid- he has a kind of hippy following of mostly young girls. The teenage daughter has mostly moved on to other music/bands and left me behind. I've seen interviews and performances by Christofer that have left me saddened to think he's going down the wrong path, but as he's just a young kid, I think he is somewhat entitled. We are all destructive until we find out who we really are I guess- I just hope he hears his own inspiration. From what I gather from twitter- Christofer is a pretty wise kid- he tweets about things like being a vegan, Tao Te Ching, peace, love, and everyone should get along...

Yes Chris- we all want change and we should all get along.

So as I stood alone in a sea of hippy teenagers at Warped tour (did I really do that?), I enjoyed the best performance ever. I know the teenage daughter thinks I'm a 'creeper' but one of these days I will have my picture taken with my boy Christofer Drew and put it in my office. A souvenier of my journey to many rock concerts and a little something for myself I guess.

Us Mom's have to find the positive in every day. If you can't beat em', might as well join em' . Do you know what your teenager is up to? I'm the Mom standing in the back- analyzing- diagnosing- trying to find the good.

Peace-

Autism's scary but Cancer's scarier

2010-08-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

Autism's scary but Cancer's scarier- at least to a parent I guess. Autism isn't usually something that is completely life threatening, we treat it's symptoms and as a parent we go through the motions. We grieve the loss of the potential life our child might have had, and begin to move on to an acceptance of a "different" life and then begin to move on again- it's a process.

My friend Jill had a great way of talking about the grieving process a parent goes through when having a child with Autism and basically it's a never ending roller coaster of grieving and then starting all over again. For some parents the grieving is harder than others, but I have found a sort of 'kinship' among my community of Autism parents that has supported me and driven me to become stronger and do things I never thought possible.

Five years ago, I met my sisters through an online chat/blog. We started our own exclusive "island" that we know to be our safe haven, tucked away on the internet, exclusive only to us. This Island is a place where we know not only our deepest darkest secret feelings about Autism, but we know mostly everything about eachother. After a year of hanging out with my Island sisters, I found myself on a plane to Nashville to meet a bunch of women I only knew online. Strange- I know, but the best risk I have ever taken. These ladies have taught me I am stronger than I thought ever possible, and shown me unconditional love and support whenever I need it. I love my sisters!

But the kinship of Autism didn't just begin and end on the Island. It has been four years since I met my better half- Nicole. We met through our nonprofit- Autism Resource Network. Together with our awesome comrades Myca and Chris, we have put together the most important parent support network in Northwest Michigan. Nicole isn't just a buddy, girlfriend, co-worker, she's my sister. She has taught me through her chilled out, and sometimes socially odd ways, that everything's gonna be ok. She is complete opposite of me- she gets up early in the morning and goes to bed early. She makes her bed, cooks, is crafty, organized, attentive, completely level-headed, did I mention organized? Yea- that's my Nicole. She rocks in a crisis. She holds it together while I come completely unglued, dramatic and emotional. The best part is that she totally lets me. She just sits back and watches the show of my crazy, and then later in her calm manner and wisdomous way, tells me how it is, how she sees it, and helps me to move on. Nicole knows my deepest darkest secrets about how I feel about Autism. She somehow understands how I feel being about being a Mom to 4 kids when she has only 1 child. Nicole gets me. She doesn't judge and isn't afraid to kick my ass when I need a good ass kickin'- even when I don't want to hear it. Fearless- yea, that's my Nicole. Nicole is the reason I haven't closed up the shop on ARN many times, she brings me back to what's good and right and together we move on.

Nicole and I have solved the world's problems many times over hour long phone conversations, texting email and probably mental telepathy. We have solved Autism. We have found solutions and what-if's for every scenario. In the world of Autism and ARN, Nicole is the brains behind the operation- I'm just the operation. When you look at ARN you see me, but it's really Nicole. She likes it that way, she's not an attention hog and loathes public speaking.

Since we have solved Autism- or at least in our own minds anyway. What do we do about Cancer? Lymphoma? WHATTTT?

Yea- Nicole has Lymphoma, Cancer. Big blow- we just found out yesterday. What do you do with this? I mean, we just started to get Autism figured out and now Cancer? Honestly, I had this crazy fleeting thought of now running a nonprofit for Cancer?! I can't do it without my partner. Nicole and I have been buddies through all this, and I've just begun to see the kinship of Autism. Cancer is a dirty word....SSSSHHHHHHH! Make it stop!

Not that easy. I don't like it. I actually hate it. hate it.. hate .. hate it.. makes me want to scream.

My best friend Dawn died of breast cancer 7 years ago at the age of 32. I will never forget because Harrison's birthday is on the day she died. She knew we were trying to have another baby and were frustrated with the process, a year after she died we had our baby. Then 2 years later- we had Autism. Through the grief, I found sweetness in a baby boy that melts my heart every time I see him. It's really like no other. I have compassion and joy when I think of the challenges we've been through. Isn't that really weird? Maybe I'm cracked, but it's true. The thing I do know is Cancer was terrible. It took my friend and left me empty. What do you do about Cancer?

If Nicole and I have Autism we are a team, a force to be reckoned with. Cancer?? What do we do with that? I guess maybe she's my rock, and I feel like I'm not organized enough to rise to the challenge and kick her ass when she needs it kicked, or strong enough to hold it together when she needs support. Maybe that's where all this ambivalence is coming from.

So- ok... Nicole- if you have the Cancer, I have the Crazy enough to match it. Bring it on girlfriend! We can figure it out and kick this Cancer's ass. I know 4 years ago Autism was a scary beast but we tamed it and now Cancer is goin' down....

Livin' the frickin' dream!

2010-08-24T18:27:00.000-07:00

Honest....honest....what on earth has possessed these children? Like a well timed fireworks event- they have managed to spark off a fury of events that began at 9am and ended at 9pm. 12 full hours of crazy cat fights and manipulative insult tactics. Wow. Carly is here with her 3 boys, and I believe she was feelin' a tad bit sorry for me because she went to the store to retrieve a case of Bud Light Lime...Bless her...I always knew she understood me.

Livin' the dream people....Livin' the dream...

Ok...so it's a few months later than I had promised

2010-08-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

What the hell? So I promised a great blog post and it's been about 8 months. Better late than never I guess...

Today I'm wondering why it is, that when I speak, my kids act like I'm speaking some kind of freakish foreign language. They always look at me with shock, disbelief, annoyance, and just pure ignorance in their eyes....their mouths hang open and the only thing they can mutter is "Huh?" "Huh?" must be a universal word that is used in every language, because they keep muttering it over and over, expecting me to repeat myself. Thus, the who process of confusion starts all over again.

To say the least....it's annoying and one day I vow to do the following list of things to them when they are married with children:
1. Eat crackers in their bed, while between the sheets...
2. Barge into their bedrooms when they are trying to sleep and shout "DADDY WON'T SHARE THE TVVVVV!!!"
3. Leave all my dirty dishes under their couch and various other places
4. Ask them to drive me to the grocery store and then change my mind
In general, I'm just going to be a really annoying house guest...after all..isn't that the same thing?
5. And I can't forget my favorite...remove and destroy all the backs to every remote in the house and later shout "WHERE ARE THE BATTERIES?"
6. Clogging up the toilet should be necessary but I am not sure I could do the job, i'll check with the captain to see if he has those kinds of skills
7. Call them 2 minutes before I need a ride and shout "HURRY UP!"
8. Go in their fridge and pantry and complain they are lazy and need to buy more food

So yeah...I love these little buggers but I can tell you my sanity is in question here, and my hearing is starting to wain. Next time they ask me a question I'm gonna say..."HUH?" See how they like it..jeesh

I Can't Believe It's Been An Entire Year....

2009-12-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

So here I am. I've thought seriously over the past few months about working on the blog again but who has time?? I noticed that It's been a year so I decided today was a good day to stop the "Procrasterbation" (as my friend Kelli calls it) and get my rear in gear. So in honor of "Procrasterbation" I promise to do my homework, clean the kitchen and even fold a few loads of laundry. All of this is BEFORE I go to class and pick up the kids today.

So here is my blog post. I have many great and wonderful things to say...stay tuned, I promise it will get better!

Questioning the Sanity of Christmas

2008-12-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

The sanity of the Christmas season is completely insane! Who ever heard of taking kids out of school for 2 entire weeks during the snowiest part of the year, loading them up with sugar, the promise of a fat round man who brings presents, too many gifts and to boot....A tree in my front room!!!! Where is the spirit of the season people?? The spirit? Jesus birth, our Savior, you know, all that stuff? Aren't we supposed to be preparing our hearts to accept our Savior? Being a Christian, that is what the Christmas season is about but furthermore, what about other holidays like Hannukah that are also celebrated during this time? I am sure we are all in agreement. Our society has created one of greed, we are all guilty of it. I for one, am ashamed to say that my kids have more things than I am proud to admit. Toys, video games, tv's, electronic toys to the tune of feeding a small country...not proud. I can tell you I have run myself raggid once again this season. I have done considerably less than previous years but it has been with personal sacrafice. Not sending out Christmas cards was difficult but reasonable. I always enjoyed trying to get just the right card, the challenge of making sure I had the right addresses and updating the list every year, plus taking just the right picture! Let's face it, stamps are expensive and so are pictures and cards. Something had to give I guess- but! If you look at it, I probably should have given the joy of my Christmas card and less under the tree because at least I would have spread joy to the most amount of people instead of more for my family. We have plenty here, just plenty. I am thankful my family is healthy and we are not (so far as of this moment) facing the challenges that so many families in our country are facing. We are safe and warm in our cozy home, even if the insanity is more than I can handle! Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday's to Everyone! Resolutions a plenty over here...there's always next year right!

Rockin' In The Free WoRLD!!!!!!!

2008-11-04T17:39:00.001-08:00

Are we? Will we be rockin' in the free world with a new Prez, or will it be doom and gloom? I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready for a change. I guess I will take this opportunity to spew my political commentary...(hehehe..) disclaimer: this is only my opinion and thought, not meant to offend....If you feel the elephant in the room...please feel free to leave quietly..no one will tell!

We all know the subjects between friends that shouldn't be discussed at length, are politics and religion. The problem is, that if you disagree it is kind of like being dumped for the first time...that awkward silence that permeates the air, only to be followed by the sting of rejection. That's kind of how I feel about it, I guess I know who I can talk politics with- those who share my views- and those I can't- those who are appalled by my views.

The election is a political game that I still don't fully understand. Why was Michigan pretty much excluded from the primaries? Why do the parties pretty much choose the candidates? Being the Mom of a special needs child I found it offensive when the Rep party decided to choose Sarah Palin as the VP candidate. I think people just took it for granted that I would vote for McCain because of this. WHY? Why would I vote for someone just because their VP has a special needs child? What has she done for the special needs community thus far? What will she continue to do? In the beginning, I was on McCain's side...(Yes, hard to believe) I liked his grandfatherly, Republican qualities. I liked the fact he is a war vet and knows what it's like to serve his country, I like the fact that he is divorced and cheated on his wife- it gave him a human touch, I also liked the fact that he wasn't afraid to reach across party lines to make votes that sometimes made him unpopular... I liked McCain! Hence- the word liked! However, I do not like his party's antics of choosing a woman to sway the vote away from Hilary Clinton. Did they just assume that we would vote for McCain because he chose a woman VP...not to mention, she has a special needs child?! OMG! If this is what is running the Republican campaign then forget it friends! Why would I vote for someone who either makes stupid choices for running mates, or lets his political party make choices for him?

Barrack Obama is young, educated, has led a very real life. He wants change in healthcare (which I support) he also plans to help the economy first thing! He has a young family and knows what it is like to be a parent in today's day and age. He is from inner-city Chicago and knows what it's like to struggle. He wasn't born to privilege and such. He is a good, honest man who wants what is best for his country- hands down. Maybe Obama is pro-choice- so what? If I was letting such an issue be the driving force behind how I voted then I would be a fool. At this time in life, I think we need someone who is going to bring about a change, and other issues like feeding my children come first. Today, I don't have time to sit around and worry about the social issues that affect the people in my country- I don't think Ed McMahon will be showing up at my door anytime soon with a hefty check- so I am led down this path. Some may call me a DEMON-crat, that is ok. I am actually getting used to it and will wear it with pride today!

The Fun is Over

2008-11-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

Halloweener is over...a fun night had by all but I couldn't help wonder if we are truly in a recession? (DUH?) Not that I am complaining, God knows my hind end could use less treats- but the trick or treating candy was sparse this year. After we got home and drooled over the candy, I realized we didn't really make out like bandits this year. I was quickly informed by a very informed staunch Obama supporter- "We are in a recession you know?!" Man! I didn't think the candy would experience the trickle down effect so quickly! So- I say to the dentist, sorry for you buddy, you're hit too!

Sorry to disappoint, no new intelligent or witty posts this week, just the usual life stuff. H had the best time trick or treating for the first time in 5 years, we actually did the entire neighborhood! He didn't try to go into anyone's house and check out their things. He didn't cry or wander off from the crowd...life is good! Other than biting the principal this week...he did alrighty!

The Release of Guitar Hero..highlignt of my life!

2008-10-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have just been informed that TOmorrow is the release of Guitar Hero World Tour Edition and not Monday. That just totally messes up all plans of trying to sleep in with a 5 yr old's feet in your face on a Sunday morning. I guess (according to the 13 yr old) Toys R Us opens at 9am which means I have to show up at 8am to get the damn game. It's kind of embarassing don't you think? A grown woman crawls out of bed to pay $200 for a video game...I guess the embarrassing thing is that I am actually EXCITED! Yes, my life has resorted to this humiliation and I am even posting it for the entire world to see.

Last night I was supposed to have a girls night with a friend until she decided to dump me for the kids...yes, I was invited to attend the opening night of High School Musical 3 instead. Thank you friend, for the rememberance of High School and what a great time that was for me. Later in the evening my BFF and I relived the memories from our High School years and talked about the break-ups of 1990 & 1991 respectively. Unfortunately, the guys didn't look anything like Troy Bolton and I was absolutely nothing like Gabriella. I was more like the chubby cheerleader that no one wanted to date! (laugh..this is supposed to be funny!) So my review of HSM3 was a total flop. The reviews outside the theater from girls 3-13 was "OMG! I thought they were going to break up! Great movie!" To all those Mom's out there who have kids who don't like HSM3, consider yourself L-U-C-K-Y! Yes, Disney took my $ for the tickets and said "SEE YA!"

Today is good, the first round of sleepovers is leaving and C is coming home soon from his. J is requesting a sleepover and I have called the Mom (wink..wink.) but there has been no return phone call. Why is it that she wants to play with all the girls on the weekend, at the last minute, that I have no idea who the parent's are? I'm so sure, like I am supposed to call up and request their kid- who has no idea who I am and probably doesn't even really know J- to sleep at our house and expecet them to say YES! I really hope J's kids do this to her some day...better yet, I hope she has triplettes that do that to her at the same time! That'll teach her

Reading the 6th book for my class (btw..what kind of idiot decides to go back to college at age 35?) and I feel like a kid again, frustrated with the prof for not understanding what it's like to be a student. Truly, who in their right mind makes people read 11 books in 16 weeks? Expansion of the mind is painful my friends, very painful.

Only Up From Here...

2008-10-23T10:00:00.001-07:00

And here we go....up like a balloon...isn't that what it's supposed to feel like when you are coming up from the dark deep depths of you know where? Or maye the struggle to move up is a long journey. I've decided that it's the latter, because I know that moving forward from the unmentionable yesterday is going to be a bit of the struggle kind. No big deal, we can deal with it and hey- it could be worse, right? Right?

So, today's not such a bad gig...H stayed home from school while I plotted and schemed to outsmart the big 3 to get out the door before the bus came. This was with protest I can assure you. C was having a breakdown of hormonal proportions I believe, and J was in her usual demon "I refuse to get out of bed" mood. M was not feeling well- but isn't that typical of a teenager? I have to smirk and chuckle to myself with their problems that seem so enormous, and think they are really trivial in the grand scheme of things. Hey- I was just excited to spend time with my peeps this afternoon while we agonized over the wording we should use to write grants. I had to laugh a few times to myself while I thought of my analogy about the IEP using words like we were on Jeopardy! All in all, not such a bad day. I am just hoping H's return of the explosive #2 doesn't return...that would constitute a BAD day!

Ok...I'm over it, moving forward. What should I tackle today?! Suggestions?!

Random thoughts and feelings of an IEP

2008-10-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

As I sat in the parking lot waiting until closer to 8am, I looked at the school and wondered what they had in store for me today. I didn't want to go in too early and seem eager so I sat in the car and listened to H as he sat in the back seat asking me random questions and quoting from his movies. In the world of Autism, they call it scripting and these days it is never ending. The preschool teacher informed me yesterday he knows the entire Pledge of Allegiance. I wondered what kind of Pledge of Allegiance the educators were taking inside as they prepared for my IEP. Do you think they take a pledge? I bet it is a pledge to stick together through thick and thin and do what’s in the best interest of the child- sometimes, and the best intrest of their budget and staffing- always. I wondered if they would put me on the defense today by coming to the meeting tired, whispering to eachother, plotting against me. I also wondered if there would be any amusing debates among them as to which word would accurately, or appropriately describe a goal- just like you would buy a category in Jeopardy. Annoying at best.

During the IEP, I felt like an outsider in a place where I didn’t belong. The principal said few words to me because I was threatening her staffing and budget once again. Who knew asking for an Individualized Educaton Plan for my son would be so difficult. I was only asking for H to receive instruction from a certified teacher, not an aide from the lunchroom. This is the way I see it, but they of course had another spin on it. The teacher gave it a good fight and I was impressed but in the end they won their debate, only to leave me feeling helpless once again. Will my son ever be able to achieve the way his peers are able to? How much will this end up costing me in the end? Where will I find a tutor and how much should I pay her? Plan #2 in action before I can even leave the building, my head is spinning and my face is burning with defeat and anger.

In the car, H is still spewing his random thoughts and questions. He requests Burger King and I agree- even though I know his Dad would have a heart attack that I am feeding him BK and a coke Icee for breakfast. I am too tired to even complain and too stressed out over doing what is best for his education to worry about his diet right now. We head to BK and promptly order food for him and a Diet Coke for me, not healthy but the only source of comfort and treat I can riffle up for myself right now. I call N to discuss the details of the war that just went down in the school. She is my sounding board, listening ear and sometimes I can’t believe she doesn’t get sick of me complaining. She answers and we discuss the communist regime, AKA School District. We go over the same conversation as we do every day and during the conversation I am left to wonder if this conversation will forever continue and never end? Is the work we try to do in vain? Sometimes it is defeating to me when I can’t even get my own son’s IEP to go in my favor, how can I help make a change for other kids? Why is it that I even care? Maybe it is the controling, freaky side of me that just wants everyone to get along and mostly see things my way. My favorite saying is "If everyone would just do as I say, the world would be a better place." Well now, over the years, I have matured and realized this is simply not the case. I am not perfect and I digress. I just want a little simple, just a little control, just a little comfort. Don't we all deserve at least that?